Feb 9, 2012

What am I feeling? Disappointed. Unmotivated. Discouraged.

I just came back from an extended weekend vacation out to British Columbia, and it reminds me again and again that I want to travel, to explore the world. Then I'm reminded that I cannot afford to do this without the mundane 8-5, desk job. There are people out there who are just going, and doing. I want to be like that. To not feel so responsible, and so practical, all of the time. I feel slightly trapped, tied down to this practicality that is my personality. Feeling a financial responsibility for my future, a future that I have yet to discover, and to unveil, even, to myself. Yet there are people who care little for the finances in their lives, and just going with their lives, seeing worlds I have yet to see.

There are others who see my life and think that I am living the life. I have a house, a mortgage since I was 26, and am worrying myself with mortgage payments, semi-annual property taxes, and making sure that I'm making ends meet. I'm trying to be conscientious about the value of the $, while others are out drinking every week, and partying as though bills are falling from trees.

I suppose in a couple of years, I will feel grateful for having taken my responsibilities seriously, early. Actually, I am grateful. I know that in a couple years time, my friends who are just starting to invest in a home will see increased interest rates, and increased housing costs because the economy will start to turn around. By this time, I will have gotten a better grasp of my finances... and I will be several steps ahead. I will see the upside in taking that step early, tying down my finances momentarily, grasping at a great investment opportunity when everyone else will have just missed it.

I should be grateful. I am making my ends meet, with the $ I am making now, and in several years time, it will all be easier.