Nov 19, 2011

'Honeymoon' Phase, and Initial Attraction - Does It Ever Really Go Away?

I always had this jaded view of love and relationships. Of course, I didn't know this at the time.

I had this perception that love and marriage did not necessarily mean what the movies often portrayed, this lovey-dovey, meant to be with the other person, kind of love. I really thought that most couples just find comfort in stability, and knowing that the other person was someone they could get along with... and sort of settled with the other person. Honestly, true love, as they depicted it in the movies, did not exist. Simple as that.

I was wrong, though. In this other person, I found this comfort, and a sense of, seriously, just knowing that I was meant to be with this person. We had been dating for about a month, and the day he was to leave on a plane to South America/Europe, I had this overwhelming feeling, a knowing that this was the person I wanted to spend my life with. We talked about kids, and how we were raised, and if you could imagine, I was indescribably overwhelmed with this feeling that I wanted children, and this was the person I would want them with. I had never wanted children. I liked them, sure, but the thought never crossed my mind to have my own. At least, not until then. It wasn't because I wanted his babies, or that I wanted babies, period... I just knew.

We've now been dating for about half a year, and I still find myself extremely excited to see him. And I see him every night. I had always thought the spark fading was a normal phase in a relationship, I know differently now. The initial attraction, and the spark never really fades - I'm still extremely attracted to him, and with each day that passes, I find that I grow more and more so. I discover new reasons for falling for him, and a better understanding for why we are so good together. And the more that I discover, the more I feel that he is who I am meant to be with.

This morning, as we were waiting around, he whispered to me, as he does ever so frequently, "I love you" with this look in his eyes, as though he were looking into my soul. Jokingly, I retorted, "Do you really feel it? Or are you just saying it to say it?" He responds, "I don't feel it, I just know that I do."

Getting to this "finding your soul mate" place meant taking detours and long winding roads. The hardest part is recognizing that you aren't there yet, and being able to say that you need to move on to find it. I am so truly thankful for whatever it was in me that told me to keep searching, because if it had not been for that, I would not have found mine. Even more grateful for all of my previous experiences that helped me to better understand me, and to appreciate all of the qualities that is who my boyfriend has become.