A part of me knows that this is the end. Another part is hoping that this is just a phase.
We've had situations like this before, and we were somehow able to fix whatever it was that bothered either of us.
This time though, without cause or reason, he is ignoring me. It's been a whole week since he last spoke to me. He has not returned my phone calls, my emails, or my text messages. He didn't even send me a text expressing his annoyance with my 30 phone calls in less than 10 minutes. I know I sound like a crazy obsessive, I really am not. The last time this happened, at about the 10th or so call, he at least sent me a text message telling me to stop calling. This time, nothing. No response.
Can a three year relationship really just end like this? Without any real argument, or disagreement, can it all just go down the drain because he's decided to start ignoring me for whatever fault of mine he has discovered over the course of a 24 hour period? I haven't cheated, and we haven't had an outright, argument with lots of yelling....
He's ignored me for a whole week now. If you've happened upon my blog, you're probably wondering why I would even consider subjecting myself to the sort of torture this has seemed to cause me. At a week, I do think that it is rude, and disrespectful, regardless of his feelings/emotions. If he thought anything of the relationship, he should have the decency to at least let me in on his frustrations, whether they are with me. It isn't fair for him to treat me this way, but I don't know what going on in his head. I do know that when he gets angry, he tends to shut down, and becomes very isolated. He won't talk to anyone, and won't see anyone. Usually with time, he comes around. And usually, I don't have the patience to wait around for weeks for him to figure out what is bothering him. I want to know, and I want to know right NOW. He's very passive-aggressive, and I am very forward. We're kind of complete opposites when it comes to our personalities, but for the most part we've been a very good pair.
Every time I consider just letting it all go, whether he calls, I plan not to do anything about it, but I am reminded of the saying that "for anything worth having, it's worth fighting for". And when I think about the overall relationship, I am content, I am comfortable, and no, not just settling. I have the confidence in myself to know that I can find someone else, but I really don't want to, even if I could. I like what I have, and I plan to make it work, if I can. I just think I deserve a chance to put in that effort, and I don't think ignoring me, or the situation necessarily solves the problem, or gives either of us a chance to work at it. I'm sure he'd agree that he's happy with us, a majority of the time, it's those random moments that he'd really wish for us to be more exciting, etc. I think he expects us to be the couple that is always infatuated, but that's seldom the truth. There are very few couples that are constantly in a state of infatuation... some, but definitely not the majority.
Anyway, if you're reading this, pray that things will eventually come around. Thank you.
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