Oct 11, 2009

It's only October, but I cannot wait for December. Not just for my birthday, but for the holidays, the thought of snow, and Christmas songs, and movies. I use to dread certain months of the year, but having acclimated to the professional life, and growing up some, I'm starting to enjoy all seasons of the year: green grass, fresh flowers in the spring, summer sports, and camping weekends, with long summer days, followed by autumn, fall colors, and leaves, and finally, the thought of snow, and the impending winter sports, snowboarding, and weekend cabin trips. It seems I've finally hit a really good groove with life, for a moment in time, I have a clear direction of where I want to be, and I'm loving every moment of life. Of course, California doesn't see much of the distinct four seasons, but the idea that should I want to visit the East Coast, I can surely surround myself with something of a lovely winter season. For once in my life, I'd love to be in New York City for the Christmas holiday, I just don't know if this year will be the year.

Oct 10, 2009

Since the post fast about 3 weeks ago, I have not ceased my poor eating habits. I'm certain at this point it has nothing to do with the curse, or that time of the month, but in any case, all attempts to rid my bad habits with the help of the fast has gone down the drain. My bud during this experience has had much better luck with maintaining good eating habits, as well as overall lifestyle changes since the experiment; I, on the other hand, have had little to no luck on that front. To paint you a better picture, I have had nothing BUT fast food in the form of sweetened coffee, pineapple buns, cocktail buns, loads of bread, ice cream, burgers, fries, cakes and just about any other not-so-good for you food post fast. I actually started feeling really crappy as of late, and want not to leave my room, only on the occasion of getting to and from class, any extra activity that seems relatively unnecessary I have stayed away. I'm even lacking the enthusiasm to go see my significant other as a result of this lapse in healthy decision making, which I had once been an avid believer, to the extent that you could not talk me into eating fries, even if you paid me for it.

For whatever reason, I have had very little trouble in talking myself into eating a burger, or a burger, fries, soda and dessert, immediately after devouring a pineapple bun with mini pork buns on the side. As of today, that all has to stop. Not only am I starting to have a negative outlook on the outside world, but I no longer seem to want to be in it. I use to wake around 5-6AM on weekend mornings just to go for a jog around the lake, or spend an hour in the gym. I'd even try to schedule in time during boyfriend visits, just to make sure I got my exercise in. I'd count calories subconsciously and tell people I really wasn't, at least then I had some sort of control over my life. I feel as though these past couple of weeks I've lost all sense of control. The same control that I had been wanting to gain as a result of my experiment with fasting. I let fasting become a small part of my lifestyle, and reverted back to old eating habits, without thinking that the whole purpose of my fasting was to get that control, and to maintain it. Instead I harbored fantasies about all the fatty foods I would eat after. It probably was not a good idea to do this experiment with someone who constantly talked about eating pizzas, and cookies after the fast, but I admit part of that blame is my own, and I should fess up to it. I was easily persuaded away from the way I liked to eat, and now fancy that eating unhealthy is really the manner in which I like to eat. Sad, really.

I must gain control, and fast! (No pun intended.)

Oct 9, 2009

First, I think it's absolutely wonderful that he was awarded. There, obviously, is a lot of controversy over whether he deserved it, and although I highly value others' opinions, I also feel that the Nobel Prize committee was not doing anyone any favors by any means. It would be a bit more suspicious had it been a U.S committee, but that's not the case, so the idea that Obama is not "yet" deserving of the award is preposterous. I also think it's a joke to all other Nobel Prize winners for criticizers to say that he is undeserving, had the committee simply made a decision for reasons other than which makes Obama the qualified winner, it is to say that all past winners should require a second critique. To end, Obama was rewarded for his accomplishments, and efforts, and his ultimate reward was a result of those accomplishments that the Nobel Prize committee believed to make him the winner of the 2009 award, I do not think it is anyone else's prerogative to second guess that decision.