Sunday, October 11
Oct 11, 2009
It's only October, but I cannot wait for December. Not just for my birthday, but for the holidays, the thought of snow, and Christmas songs, and movies. I use to dread certain months of the year, but having acclimated to the professional life, and growing up some, I'm starting to enjoy all seasons of the year: green grass, fresh flowers in the spring, summer sports, and camping weekends, with long summer days, followed by autumn, fall colors, and leaves, and finally, the thought of snow, and the impending winter sports, snowboarding, and weekend cabin trips. It seems I've finally hit a really good groove with life, for a moment in time, I have a clear direction of where I want to be, and I'm loving every moment of life. Of course, California doesn't see much of the distinct four seasons, but the idea that should I want to visit the East Coast, I can surely surround myself with something of a lovely winter season. For once in my life, I'd love to be in New York City for the Christmas holiday, I just don't know if this year will be the year.
Saturday, October 10
Oct 10, 2009
Since the post fast about 3 weeks ago, I have not ceased my poor eating habits. I'm certain at this point it has nothing to do with the curse, or that time of the month, but in any case, all attempts to rid my bad habits with the help of the fast has gone down the drain. My bud during this experience has had much better luck with maintaining good eating habits, as well as overall lifestyle changes since the experiment; I, on the other hand, have had little to no luck on that front. To paint you a better picture, I have had nothing BUT fast food in the form of sweetened coffee, pineapple buns, cocktail buns, loads of bread, ice cream, burgers, fries, cakes and just about any other not-so-good for you food post fast. I actually started feeling really crappy as of late, and want not to leave my room, only on the occasion of getting to and from class, any extra activity that seems relatively unnecessary I have stayed away. I'm even lacking the enthusiasm to go see my significant other as a result of this lapse in healthy decision making, which I had once been an avid believer, to the extent that you could not talk me into eating fries, even if you paid me for it.
For whatever reason, I have had very little trouble in talking myself into eating a burger, or a burger, fries, soda and dessert, immediately after devouring a pineapple bun with mini pork buns on the side. As of today, that all has to stop. Not only am I starting to have a negative outlook on the outside world, but I no longer seem to want to be in it. I use to wake around 5-6AM on weekend mornings just to go for a jog around the lake, or spend an hour in the gym. I'd even try to schedule in time during boyfriend visits, just to make sure I got my exercise in. I'd count calories subconsciously and tell people I really wasn't, at least then I had some sort of control over my life. I feel as though these past couple of weeks I've lost all sense of control. The same control that I had been wanting to gain as a result of my experiment with fasting. I let fasting become a small part of my lifestyle, and reverted back to old eating habits, without thinking that the whole purpose of my fasting was to get that control, and to maintain it. Instead I harbored fantasies about all the fatty foods I would eat after. It probably was not a good idea to do this experiment with someone who constantly talked about eating pizzas, and cookies after the fast, but I admit part of that blame is my own, and I should fess up to it. I was easily persuaded away from the way I liked to eat, and now fancy that eating unhealthy is really the manner in which I like to eat. Sad, really.
I must gain control, and fast! (No pun intended.)
For whatever reason, I have had very little trouble in talking myself into eating a burger, or a burger, fries, soda and dessert, immediately after devouring a pineapple bun with mini pork buns on the side. As of today, that all has to stop. Not only am I starting to have a negative outlook on the outside world, but I no longer seem to want to be in it. I use to wake around 5-6AM on weekend mornings just to go for a jog around the lake, or spend an hour in the gym. I'd even try to schedule in time during boyfriend visits, just to make sure I got my exercise in. I'd count calories subconsciously and tell people I really wasn't, at least then I had some sort of control over my life. I feel as though these past couple of weeks I've lost all sense of control. The same control that I had been wanting to gain as a result of my experiment with fasting. I let fasting become a small part of my lifestyle, and reverted back to old eating habits, without thinking that the whole purpose of my fasting was to get that control, and to maintain it. Instead I harbored fantasies about all the fatty foods I would eat after. It probably was not a good idea to do this experiment with someone who constantly talked about eating pizzas, and cookies after the fast, but I admit part of that blame is my own, and I should fess up to it. I was easily persuaded away from the way I liked to eat, and now fancy that eating unhealthy is really the manner in which I like to eat. Sad, really.
I must gain control, and fast! (No pun intended.)
Friday, October 9
Oct 9, 2009
First, I think it's absolutely wonderful that he was awarded. There, obviously, is a lot of controversy over whether he deserved it, and although I highly value others' opinions, I also feel that the Nobel Prize committee was not doing anyone any favors by any means. It would be a bit more suspicious had it been a U.S committee, but that's not the case, so the idea that Obama is not "yet" deserving of the award is preposterous. I also think it's a joke to all other Nobel Prize winners for criticizers to say that he is undeserving, had the committee simply made a decision for reasons other than which makes Obama the qualified winner, it is to say that all past winners should require a second critique. To end, Obama was rewarded for his accomplishments, and efforts, and his ultimate reward was a result of those accomplishments that the Nobel Prize committee believed to make him the winner of the 2009 award, I do not think it is anyone else's prerogative to second guess that decision.
Wednesday, September 16
Fasting, Day 2
It's the end of day 1, and the beginning of day 2. I ended up eating until near 12AM - so hopefully I'll stay the course now that I've started over. I now have a fasting buddy, and this should make this whole journey much more bearable to have someone to talk to about the process, and what's happening with my body.
I've been feeling relatively good today, no lack of energy, or feeling crabby, I tried to steer clear of too much overexertion because of my trial run fast, and I think it definitely helped that I moved around only minimally. I can definitely see this getting tougher as the days go on, as I'll be in the company of others who will make note of the fact that I am not consuming as everyone else. As this is all a journey to reacquaint with my body and its real needs, I'll hopefully learn to conquer my cravings, and not let others' influence me too much away from this journey I've chosen to embark.
My stomach has started to sink in, and is starting to feel as though it is eating itself, major movements do seem to prove difficult, and muscles are starting to feel slightly sore, and overused, my tongue is also reverting to this grimy/clammy feeling but my hopes are these feelings will subside as I get through the first 72 hours.
It's just another 48 hours, JUST another 48.
I've been feeling relatively good today, no lack of energy, or feeling crabby, I tried to steer clear of too much overexertion because of my trial run fast, and I think it definitely helped that I moved around only minimally. I can definitely see this getting tougher as the days go on, as I'll be in the company of others who will make note of the fact that I am not consuming as everyone else. As this is all a journey to reacquaint with my body and its real needs, I'll hopefully learn to conquer my cravings, and not let others' influence me too much away from this journey I've chosen to embark.
My stomach has started to sink in, and is starting to feel as though it is eating itself, major movements do seem to prove difficult, and muscles are starting to feel slightly sore, and overused, my tongue is also reverting to this grimy/clammy feeling but my hopes are these feelings will subside as I get through the first 72 hours.
It's just another 48 hours, JUST another 48.
Tuesday, September 15
Fasting, Day 1
Fasting (1-30 days)
Day 1 (Sept 6 - 6PM)
I had started fasting Sunday evening, not eating after 3PM - I ended that last night when I impulsively decided to eat junk. Talk about not overcoming my impulses. Fasting, I hope, will help me control my food cravings. I definitely do not eat to stop hunger, I eat because I crave food, I crave junk. I can eat tubs and tubs of ice cream, nonstop, or until the tub is devoured. I'm not obese, or am in desperate need of losing weight, but those cravings will be the death of me, if I do not control them before it's too late.
Some stats to start with:
118lbs
11.25" upper
29" around
My main goal would be overcoming, and getting in control of my poor eating habits. At least enough for my friends and family to stop being amazed at how much I eat, and how much bad foods I can consume in one sitting, or over a one hour period. Losing some BF along the fasting journey would be a big positive, as well, it'll definitely give me more reason to maintain good habits. I'm not so much concerned with the actual weight difference, but a change in my circumference would be nice.
Current feeling: =)
I'm full from lots of protein drinks, spread throughout the day, loads of bread, pineapple buns, and nuts. I'm not sure why I eat to the point where I feel like this, but hopefully fasting will debunk it.
Day 1 (Sept 6 - 6PM)
I had started fasting Sunday evening, not eating after 3PM - I ended that last night when I impulsively decided to eat junk. Talk about not overcoming my impulses. Fasting, I hope, will help me control my food cravings. I definitely do not eat to stop hunger, I eat because I crave food, I crave junk. I can eat tubs and tubs of ice cream, nonstop, or until the tub is devoured. I'm not obese, or am in desperate need of losing weight, but those cravings will be the death of me, if I do not control them before it's too late.
Some stats to start with:
118lbs
11.25" upper
29" around
My main goal would be overcoming, and getting in control of my poor eating habits. At least enough for my friends and family to stop being amazed at how much I eat, and how much bad foods I can consume in one sitting, or over a one hour period. Losing some BF along the fasting journey would be a big positive, as well, it'll definitely give me more reason to maintain good habits. I'm not so much concerned with the actual weight difference, but a change in my circumference would be nice.
Current feeling: =)
I'm full from lots of protein drinks, spread throughout the day, loads of bread, pineapple buns, and nuts. I'm not sure why I eat to the point where I feel like this, but hopefully fasting will debunk it.
Tuesday, March 17
Mar 17, 2009
Irish Traditions
There are many Irish traditions people follow to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and other Irish occasions, although not all of them are historically accurate. Some of the Irish customs people are more familiar with include wearing green, eating Irish food and drinking beer. Actually wearing green is strictly a U.S. custom, as the color green is considered unlucky in Ireland. Green is connected to the old green flag and a time when Ireland was not free. Americans have embraced their own St. Patrick's Day tradition of drinking large amounts of Irish beer or green beer, which has no real historical Irish references at all. Another new St. Patrick's Day tradition started by school children is pinching classmates who don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day. This tradition has grown with the times, and even if you aren't a school child, beware on St. Patrick's Day if you aren't wearing green!
There are many Irish traditions people follow to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and other Irish occasions, although not all of them are historically accurate. Some of the Irish customs people are more familiar with include wearing green, eating Irish food and drinking beer. Actually wearing green is strictly a U.S. custom, as the color green is considered unlucky in Ireland. Green is connected to the old green flag and a time when Ireland was not free. Americans have embraced their own St. Patrick's Day tradition of drinking large amounts of Irish beer or green beer, which has no real historical Irish references at all. Another new St. Patrick's Day tradition started by school children is pinching classmates who don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day. This tradition has grown with the times, and even if you aren't a school child, beware on St. Patrick's Day if you aren't wearing green!
Wednesday, March 11
Mar 11, 2009
... and lately, it's been too difficult to get back on. I've been eating more carbohydrates, mostly in the form of bread/pastries, and lots of chocolate, and piles and piles of tortilla chips. I partly blame my monthly friend that I've fallen - my cravings - but really it's a lack of strong-will, or a will enough to overcome the huge cravings I have whilest on le rag.
I will persevere - check back in another week or two.
I will persevere - check back in another week or two.
Sunday, February 22
Feb 22, 2009
I'm probably the most informed person many of my friends know. Tasked with a difficult situation, I question, prod, research until the subject tires. As is the case with my recent traffic ticket, but that's not the subject.
I've been exercising for over two years. Whilest in college, I went to the gym on an almost daily basis, for some scary three hours. Long by the standards of those who only try to make it there for a measly one hour. Even now as I've become more skilled in training, etc, I'm still bordering two hours. Of course, I've become more specialized in it, and even male friends ask advice when they see me.
Not only do I research, I observe those at the gym who have bodies to prove success. I mirror my own workouts after this female I often see at the gym. Beginning to incorporate her workouts into my own, or tweaking mine to adjust to my own needs. (I really don't want biceps as huge as hers.... bigger than most guys at the gym that I've seen thus far.)
Really, though, the point of this post is to track progress... and here's what the changes are:
2-20-09
- begin weight training before cardio
- start with 10 minute warm up on rowing machine
- perform standard weight training regime used previously, in reverse order
- incorporate side bends, and torso twists with 35lb barbell weight
- incorporate dumbbell raises, on slanted weight bench - 2-3 sets of 10, at 15lbs each
- incorporate machine lateral pull workout - elbows resting at sides, pull from shoulders to sides; arms raised to shoulder height, pull down to sides; 2-3 sets of reps of 10 at 20lbs
- perform romanian chair leg raises for abs
- incorporate crunches on ab crunching machine
- perform standard plank for all sides
- incorporate floor crunches - legs facing either left or right, with body facing towards ceiling, sets of 10 crunching upwards
- incorporate floor exercise - body facing either left or right, leaning on hip bone, perform scissor like movement with legs for sets of 30, on left and right side
Progress: Body still aches from workout from yesterday morning. Good sign.
Current measurements:
Waist
Above belly button - 28.00"
Below belly - 32.00"
Hips - 34.00"
Upper thigh (2" from bikini line)
Left - 19.75"
Right - 20.00"
Lower thigh (2" from knees)
Left & Right - 14.50"
Calves
Left - 13.25"
Right - 13.50"
Upper arms, at armpit
Left - 11.00"
Right - 11.00"
Middle arm
Left - 10.25"
Right - 10.50"
Lower arm, above elbow
Left - 9.25"
Right - 9.00"
Weight - apprx. 118lbs, daily fluctuation between 115-118lbs
I've been exercising for over two years. Whilest in college, I went to the gym on an almost daily basis, for some scary three hours. Long by the standards of those who only try to make it there for a measly one hour. Even now as I've become more skilled in training, etc, I'm still bordering two hours. Of course, I've become more specialized in it, and even male friends ask advice when they see me.
Not only do I research, I observe those at the gym who have bodies to prove success. I mirror my own workouts after this female I often see at the gym. Beginning to incorporate her workouts into my own, or tweaking mine to adjust to my own needs. (I really don't want biceps as huge as hers.... bigger than most guys at the gym that I've seen thus far.)
Really, though, the point of this post is to track progress... and here's what the changes are:
2-20-09
- begin weight training before cardio
- start with 10 minute warm up on rowing machine
- perform standard weight training regime used previously, in reverse order
- incorporate side bends, and torso twists with 35lb barbell weight
- incorporate dumbbell raises, on slanted weight bench - 2-3 sets of 10, at 15lbs each
- incorporate machine lateral pull workout - elbows resting at sides, pull from shoulders to sides; arms raised to shoulder height, pull down to sides; 2-3 sets of reps of 10 at 20lbs
- perform romanian chair leg raises for abs
- incorporate crunches on ab crunching machine
- perform standard plank for all sides
- incorporate floor crunches - legs facing either left or right, with body facing towards ceiling, sets of 10 crunching upwards
- incorporate floor exercise - body facing either left or right, leaning on hip bone, perform scissor like movement with legs for sets of 30, on left and right side
Progress: Body still aches from workout from yesterday morning. Good sign.
Current measurements:
Waist
Above belly button - 28.00"
Below belly - 32.00"
Hips - 34.00"
Upper thigh (2" from bikini line)
Left - 19.75"
Right - 20.00"
Lower thigh (2" from knees)
Left & Right - 14.50"
Calves
Left - 13.25"
Right - 13.50"
Upper arms, at armpit
Left - 11.00"
Right - 11.00"
Middle arm
Left - 10.25"
Right - 10.50"
Lower arm, above elbow
Left - 9.25"
Right - 9.00"
Weight - apprx. 118lbs, daily fluctuation between 115-118lbs
Thursday, February 12
Feb 12, 2009
Pet Peeves - when someone brings in snacks, and random guy that BARELY EVER talks to you, comes over, and hoards the snacks. Worst yet, the only time he comes over to chat is to get more snacks. No issue with eating the snacks, that's what they're there for, but when you come over, wait for the person to start doing other things, and THEN start taking the snacks whilest they're looking away = annoying.
A cannister of snacks, each package has about 30 pieces, he'll take about 1/4th each time he comes around. And another note to mention, it's not just once a day.
This is the same guy who constantly claims that he needs to lose weight by a specified date, doesn't eat breakfast, or lunch, yet he'll drink coffee, eat pastries, and eat all sorts of high in saturated fat snacks. I don't know sounds like this guy has an issue.
He'll even come over with comments, like "You're going to buy me a [enter sports utility car here], right?". Guy's married, and about 35 years my senior.
A cannister of snacks, each package has about 30 pieces, he'll take about 1/4th each time he comes around. And another note to mention, it's not just once a day.
This is the same guy who constantly claims that he needs to lose weight by a specified date, doesn't eat breakfast, or lunch, yet he'll drink coffee, eat pastries, and eat all sorts of high in saturated fat snacks. I don't know sounds like this guy has an issue.
He'll even come over with comments, like "You're going to buy me a [enter sports utility car here], right?". Guy's married, and about 35 years my senior.
Tuesday, February 3
Feb 3, 2009
... it that is creeping up my pet-peeves list. Not that I ever kept record of things that bugged me, but lately (actually, not so lately - rather ever since she went back to Austin) she'll call with this roundabout starter line that "eases" into her issue; however, being pressed for time as a whole, I need her to get to the point - instead of wasting my time. Most frustrating is that after I give her a response to her mostly common sensical questions, she responds with a trailed off, ".. that's what I thought, but I wanted to make sure!" You can expect it, almost everytime she calls. I've begun to wonder why she even calls to waste time, for matters to which she apparently already knew the answers. Of course, everyday, it's the same routine, I can expect her call just about for everything that she should have picked up since late last year, at least having taken those responsibilities since late September - she's getting real close to that half year mark. The same time in which I was able to fully grasp the Non Market responsibilities and duties, and take on full responsibility for Month End dividend processing, including, but not limited to, clearing daily dividend breaks in order to ensure that all funds are paid out correctly on month-end.
Course I cannot expect everyone to function on the same mentality and capabilities as my own, yet I hope for it; just for ease of mind, and transition.
Course I cannot expect everyone to function on the same mentality and capabilities as my own, yet I hope for it; just for ease of mind, and transition.
Tuesday, January 27
Jan 27, 2009
It's funny how the mind works... lately, and I'm not sure why exactly, but I've mentally set goals for myself. Maybe it's part of the whole new year's resolution(s) ideology - but I've never fallen prey to the following. Most people set these ridiculous goals for themselves, and come mid-February most people have broken whatever promise(s) they have made for themselves.
It's especially evident at the gym. I've had a gym membership, almost immediately, after my car accident - the first full week of starting at CSTC. Initially, when I started going, I would probably make it to the gym about 2-3 times a week, and often I had to convince myself to go; but in the two years that I've been, I've been a frequent visitor to three main gyms, all within close proximity to either work, or home.
Being an avid gym-goer, I've come to recognize the patterns of other people. On a weekly basis, you'll find lines and lines of people Monday through Wednesday, occasionally Thursday; however, come Friday, machines are essentially all free, and the weight/machine areas are nearly deserted. Probably because people give themselves breaks over the weekend, and they start anew at the beginning of the week. This is especially true at the beginning of the year when people make the resolution to go to the gym more often to get fit, or whatever the resolution may be. Give this resolution until mid February, benefit of the doubt, end of March, and a lot of the space starts to clear up. Lines die down, and wait time zeroes.
Despite seeing this, I've set some goals for myself for this year, in no particular order:
· perform sets any number of UNassisted chin ups, or pull ups (this is closely related to my resolution to exercise like Jessica Biel),
· become less drama prone - i.e no shit talking about other people, even if it's not meant to be shit talking,
· when laid off, take no more than two weeks, before beginning to actively search for a job,
· save more, spend less (sounds tough for others, but I know I can do it!),
· research into purchasing own car insurance, eventually paying for my own, instead of relying on my parents to pay - can do monthly payments if not able to do the annual payment!
I think I've set relatively reasonable goals for myself, and am faithful that I can fulfill my goals by year's end.
Wish me luck!
It's especially evident at the gym. I've had a gym membership, almost immediately, after my car accident - the first full week of starting at CSTC. Initially, when I started going, I would probably make it to the gym about 2-3 times a week, and often I had to convince myself to go; but in the two years that I've been, I've been a frequent visitor to three main gyms, all within close proximity to either work, or home.
Being an avid gym-goer, I've come to recognize the patterns of other people. On a weekly basis, you'll find lines and lines of people Monday through Wednesday, occasionally Thursday; however, come Friday, machines are essentially all free, and the weight/machine areas are nearly deserted. Probably because people give themselves breaks over the weekend, and they start anew at the beginning of the week. This is especially true at the beginning of the year when people make the resolution to go to the gym more often to get fit, or whatever the resolution may be. Give this resolution until mid February, benefit of the doubt, end of March, and a lot of the space starts to clear up. Lines die down, and wait time zeroes.
Despite seeing this, I've set some goals for myself for this year, in no particular order:
· perform sets any number of UNassisted chin ups, or pull ups (this is closely related to my resolution to exercise like Jessica Biel),
· become less drama prone - i.e no shit talking about other people, even if it's not meant to be shit talking,
· when laid off, take no more than two weeks, before beginning to actively search for a job,
· save more, spend less (sounds tough for others, but I know I can do it!),
· research into purchasing own car insurance, eventually paying for my own, instead of relying on my parents to pay - can do monthly payments if not able to do the annual payment!
I think I've set relatively reasonable goals for myself, and am faithful that I can fulfill my goals by year's end.
Wish me luck!
Friday, January 23
Jan 23, 2009
"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." - President John F Kennedy, Inaugural Address (Jan. 20, 1981)
Wednesday, January 21
Jan 21, 2009
It's about more than half way through the first month of the year, already. I told myself that I would begin to work on my resume as soon as it was near November, two months later, I still have not started.
I'd like to say that this is because my resume/cover letter style really just caters to specific job descriptions - so much so that each individual resume is detailed for it. I could just as well be making an excuse for myself so I wouldn't have to start on the thing until it's absolutely necessary - which ultimately means I probably would not begin to utilize my countless resources whilest still employed. As this is a mass layoff, of sorts, my various superiors, as well as superiors from other teams have voiced their desire to help me perfect le resume, yet, I still have not begun to reconstruct it.
On another note, since the cabin trip two weeks ago, I have not been up to par with my relatively clean eating habits/exercise regime - I've fallen far off the wagon. I rarely want to go to the gym, and I'm eating way more than necessary. There are people who argue that I don't eat enough, but I believe I eat enough of the nutritous foods, necessary for day to day functions, not too much excessively, and because I'm not eating like everyone else, I get extreme criticisms for it. People who over enthusiastically tell me that maybe I'm overdoing it, or tell me that eating hearty is healthy. I'd argue that eating hearty is not altogether healthy, especially drenched in sauces that are not necessary for clean eating. I think for sustenance, all that is necessary would be foods high in nutritional value, and only eating what is self prescribed as enough. Not by everyone else's definition of what is needed, or enough.
I'd like to say that this is because my resume/cover letter style really just caters to specific job descriptions - so much so that each individual resume is detailed for it. I could just as well be making an excuse for myself so I wouldn't have to start on the thing until it's absolutely necessary - which ultimately means I probably would not begin to utilize my countless resources whilest still employed. As this is a mass layoff, of sorts, my various superiors, as well as superiors from other teams have voiced their desire to help me perfect le resume, yet, I still have not begun to reconstruct it.
On another note, since the cabin trip two weeks ago, I have not been up to par with my relatively clean eating habits/exercise regime - I've fallen far off the wagon. I rarely want to go to the gym, and I'm eating way more than necessary. There are people who argue that I don't eat enough, but I believe I eat enough of the nutritous foods, necessary for day to day functions, not too much excessively, and because I'm not eating like everyone else, I get extreme criticisms for it. People who over enthusiastically tell me that maybe I'm overdoing it, or tell me that eating hearty is healthy. I'd argue that eating hearty is not altogether healthy, especially drenched in sauces that are not necessary for clean eating. I think for sustenance, all that is necessary would be foods high in nutritional value, and only eating what is self prescribed as enough. Not by everyone else's definition of what is needed, or enough.
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