Since I last updated you, the weather has changed from bright, early mornings... to dark mornings, and dreary afternoons... on the bright side, we have crispy, brown leaves fallen from the tree tops, piles and piles of them strewn along the roadside. I admit, when I think of the fall, I think of couples... chasing each other down an avenue boulevard with trees, nearly bare of leaves.
To your surprise, and mine, I have that this fall, with someone that I cannot imagine myself without, and for that reason, I am even more content with how I have arrived at my present place in life.
Last night, he made a proposition that made my heart flutter... and that sounds corny enough, but I have to admit, I was sincerely glad that he had diverted from the route so many before him decided to take, and so happy that he is exactly what I need. Okay, so details would be nice right about now, so I'll give them to you. Sometime last week, he semi-begged me to stay with him this weekend, and although I was hesitant, I decided that with the distance between us, it was only fair that I made the trip up to him every once in a while, at least until I get my own place. I drove up a little after my lunch date with my younger brother, and arrived a little past 3PM. We sat around for an hour not having decided on anything, but finally agreed to watch an afternoon showing of We Own the Night, starring Mark Wahlberg, and some other guy that apparently I don't care too much for..., anyhow, the weather was extremely beautiful yesterday, it was warm out, almost like it was still summer, save for the extreme humidity characteristic of the Greater Sacramento area, so we decided not to stay in. Actually, he decided he'd rather enjoy the nice weather outside, even if it was spent inside a movie theater, not technically outside, but far from being "inside" of his living quarters. By the time we finally decided to catch an afternoon showing of the movie, we were half an hour from the start of the next showing, and were about a 20 minute drive from the theaters... despite all of this, we still drove out to the general location of the theaters. We grabbed a small bite to eat at TGIFridays per request of my lovely because he waited to eat with me, at which point I learned that I would be making an appearance at one of his friends' birthday celebrations... this was a surprise and a little shocking... because we had gone to a festival, at which both my friends and his friends attended, only he didn't introduce me to anyone, yet he met my best friend and my next closest friend... so being asked to accompany him to such a gathering was exciting, and well, inconsiderate, because of the last minute notice. It was more of a "well, oh yeah... we're going to my friend's birthday gathering at a lounge tonight." Anyhow, after our early dinner, we spent about an hour inside Macy*s smelling perfume that I wanted to purchase (FYI I purchased the same bottle that I had initially gone in there to buy, despite smelling some dozen other scents... go figure...). We ended up about 15 minutes late to the movie, partially because I spent too much time in one section of Macy*s, and partially because my love failed to take note of the particular theater at which the movie was showing, so we drove from where we parked to about 20 blocks away, just to turn back to go to the same theater of which we were initially parked in front.
The movie was good, but not on the same level of "good" as The Kingdom... we went home for a couple of minutes, only to head out to another restaurant near the lounge that we were suppose to attend later that evening. In the time that it took for us to leave his living quarters to when we finally found a parking spot, I became extremely irritable due to his carelessness and rather aggressive driving (mostly due to impatience to find a place to eat)... at which point, instead of addressing the issue, I completely shut down, and refused to face him or to confront him about the issue. Of course, in 5-10 minutes of awkward alone time, texting an ex-significant other while seated across from the current love of my life, I realized that I cared too much about the being across from me... and I didn't particularly enjoy being angry, despite everything.... so explained my silent treatment, and we were fine by the end of the meal.
We walked over to the lounge, and circled the block, before we made it to the front door, we ended up having a bit of alone time around the block, where he and I just talked about pet peeves we had, things we knew annoyed us personally, and things we did that annoyed other people... at which point, he randomly tells me that he has a hard time introducing people... mostly because, well, he just didn't, not because he didn't want to, etc. This, of course, explained the lack of introductions the weekend before at the festival, and so, it eased my mind a lot, but then there was the business of meeting all of his friends, if he was not going to introduce me to them... I brushed it off, and told him I was ready for the worst case scenario, and had mentally prepared myself for random awkwardness due to lack of introductions, and we were off in the direction of the entrance, once again. Of course, we didn't end up there, we walked past the entrance, and stood at the corner for a bit, and then he exclaims that "something just doesn't feel right..." and was unable to elaborate on his thought. He brushed this off, and walks steadfastly towards the entrance again, only to stop abruptly and turns to me, and asks "When I make introductions tonight, am I going to introduce you as my friend, ...., or am I going to introduce you as my girlfriend, ...?" After seeing my entirely confused look, he then further elaborates that I had a choice on which he would choose to say... which further confused me.
Insert thought... my friends have exclaimed in the last couple of weeks that it seemed strange that my love and I had not decided on the status of our relationship, and with the amount of time that we have been in contact and dating, it would seem we should be well on our way to some official status. I disagreed, because I wasn't at all awkward with not knowing who he was to me, or who he thought of me as, I was happy with how things were working out, and definitely happy with him. So I didn't find it necessary to have to have "THE talk" just to define something I already felt was there. I didn't need an official term to feel security, because, for some odd reason, with him, I just knew.
So with all that into consideration, I was appalled, elated, extremely happy, but yet, very confused. We never really talked about it, and out of the blue, he was asking to introduce me to his friends as his girlfriend. I never really realized any of those thoughts crossed his mind, or that he had considered me a potential... anyone. I really enjoy being around him, and I love his company, but having him bring it to my attention was more than I could have ever asked for... and I'm so happy that I had ultimately decided to stay with him this past weekend.
It's funny because I never thought I needed anyone, but when people ask me if I see us together in the future, I just know this: I don't see myself without him, ever.
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