I wonder how many people happen to come across my blog.
For the most part, I like the idea of not speaking to any particular audience, if an audience even exists. I find it comforting to know that although I am disposing of myself to the world on the internet, my identity is for the most part safe from scrutiny. My actions to those who come across them will mean nothing because I am nothing. I'm another person in the sea of bloggers disposing whatever one wills, without regard for anyone or anything, and that works for me.
I have friends who like(d) to share all their inner thoughts with all their close friends, and at one point in my first year in college, I liked writing some of my thoughts for everyone, too. Probably, (and most likely,) because it was the in thing to do. Even then, I kept two journals, one for my eyes only. Why would I share my deepest and darkest thoughts with people who only deem to know me, who in actuality don't know me at all. They presume to know me, when they've only just scratched the surface, so when I do dispose of my feelings, I feel the seering eyes, and the lightbulbs turn on, because they think, Oh!, I've just figured her out!, then of course, comes the criticism, sometimes, hypocrisy.
I find it especially annoying when people who appear to be my closest friends presume to know me, and all of my actions, behaviors, and opinions, and then proceed to judge me based on them. When really, how long have they really known me, and how long have I had to live with my own decisions, etc?
I am far from a pessimist, although sometimes I may come off as one, and I don't mean to sound so negative, but people really have taken the idea of growing up in an "independent" society too far.
I miss innocence.
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